Putting a face on personification
According to the Oxford dictionary, anthropomorphism is a literary device that can be defined as a technique in which a writer “ascribes human traits, ambitions, emotions, or entire behaviors to animals.” On the other hand there is also personification. What is the difference between anthropomorphism and personification, you ask? Well, apparently personification is “an act of giving human characteristics to animals or objects to create imagery,” while anthropomorphism aims to make an animal or object behave and appear like it is a human being. A small difference, but important. Pay attention because there will be a test. Have a look at the various faces below and guesstimate how close I was to these critters when I took the photos. Make notes. I will wait here for you.
For instance, Pinocchio, the famous wooden doll, was anthropomorphized when he was given the ability to talk, walk, think, and feel like a real boy, and — just like certain politicians— his nose grew in proportion to his lies. Fables and fairy tales usually have characters that can serve as anthropomorphism examples. Then there is Smokey the Bear but we won’t go that far just yet. As for myself, I like to think that animals can also symbolize something, like eagles becoming the face of America. That’s why I like to get face to face with wild animals on their home turf and say: “Can I take your picture?” That symbolizes stupidity, at least on my part.
As a biped I have the ability to stand on two legs and lie through my teeth at the same time, a stunning act of coordination that most wild animals can’t do. On the other hand, if you get close enough to examine their bicuspids, some animals may “cut off your nose to spite your face” as the old saying goes. It’s a juggling act that requires practice and repetition, the problem being that most people have only one nose to lose.
Speaking of crocs, few people are aware that these beasts are lightning quick over a very short distance. Along with sharks they have lasted about 50 million years on this planet by dispensing with any vestige of social responsibility whatsoever. Like sharks, if you look closely into their eyes you will notice there is nothing there. Myself I use a zoom lens to do this, but you are free to get up close and personal to verify that fact. Remember to leave your wallet in the car before you do. Others will thank you for it.
If you get the opportunity to wander around in the wilderness where there are black bears and grizzlies, you should be aware of the difference between the two. Grizzlies have a hump on their back, something to do with slow digestion of the people they have eaten. Black bears are more timid. They won’t bite you unless you get real close, so best to stay at least a foot away. Actually most species would rather you bugger off and leave them alone in their swamps and woods and not try to anthropomorphize them, like becoming spokespeople for forest fires.
Speaking of dangerous animals, one of my favourites is the emu. This is a giant bird about the size of an ostrich with a brain the size of a walnut, and they are so stupid they hurt your feelings. The big birds have difficult time thinking and wander around in circles looking to swallow taxpayer’s money, but they are fairly harmless unless you elect one and then watch out for your wallet. Luckily emus only live in Australia where everything is either upside down or backwards, which may remind you of home. As Teddy Roosevelt used to say: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”
On the other hand, not all wild animals are dangerous. Take, for instance, the sea otter. Now there’s an animal you can certainly anthropomorphize. Sea otters are cuter than teddy bears, and far cuter than Teddy Roosevelt. You see one in the wild and you want to chuck one under the chin and say “kootchykoo.” On a trip to the northwest coast of Vancouver Island I discovered a “raft” of about 200 sea otters (a bunch of sea otters is called a raft) all floating together on their backs in a forest of kelp and ruminating about sea cucumbers, and I really wanted a photo of one up close but regulations require you stay at least 400 yards away. Hence the use of a zoom lens, and they have cucumber breath anyway.
Should you find yourself wandering around the Cloud Forest of Ecuador, keep an eye out for jaguars. They are hard to miss but likely you’ll never see one anyway because they are smart enough to avoid humans, unlike the other way around. On the other hand, their junior cousin the ocelot looks a lot like a jaguar, but can also sink their teeth into you as well, so best to give them some philosophy to chew on while you back up.
Should other people say to you that “you could stand to lose a little weight,” just reply: “Have you ever seen a real whale before?” Sitting or standing? Or balancing on a boat dancing on a wave while trying not to fall overboard? You need good ballast to confront a humpback, so chow down on a few cheeseburgers before you go, unless seasickness is a problem, in which case stick to sushi.
Is the spirit bear a myth? Yes, this mythical creature is really just a pigment of your imagination. Found only in the most remote depths of the Great Bear Rainforest, the all-white bear is only found near buildings that have been recently whitewashed. It’s quite easy to see one. Why, there is a photo right on this page right in front of you! Wake up, dunderhead!
The famous poem The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner (Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s most quoted and misquoted work) is “the story of a sailor who shoots a friendly albatross, thereby cursing himself and his crew. As punishment, he is forced to wear the bird around its neck, making the albatross a symbol of his burden and regret.” Given the many misquotes published over a century’s time, it might have been better if Sammy had shot himself instead.
There is cute, and there is beyond cute, and no creature can possibly be any cuter than the blue-footed boobie bird, whose innocent face makes you want to laugh. Or is it cry? According to Charles Darwin and his Theory of Evolution, animals on the Galapagos never met humans and thereby never learned to be afraid of people (it’s a wonder there’s even a single boobie left alive) so they come right up and ask: “Can I help you? Sardines are in aisle six.”
Eagles are not an endangered species and therefor easy to spot, if you live where I do in British Columbia, where you can always find them at the local dump and sometimes in the wild, but if you venture forth to the Condor Sanctuary in northern Ecuador you will be able to get close and comfy as the birds there have been trained to put on a show for spectators, which earns the Sanctuary money to save the condors, which sit in cages and practice being the Ugliest Bird That Ever Lived, I guarantee you that you wouldn’t want to see a photo of a condor’s face close up.
It’s quite easy to get a close-up photo of a giant tortoise, mostly because they move around at about one mile per hour, at best, which may explain why they can live up to 200 years. This allows for close conversation with one, except if you start honking on all about Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, in which case they may prefer to tune you out and turn to more urgent matters, like eating grass. So slow down and relax and eat some grass! Hey, Canada Geese eat nothing but grass, but they also poop every 15 minutes which has its own drawbacks.
Thus ends our discussion and portfolio of exotic creatures I have met up close and personal in the wild and obtained a photo without signed permissions. The lesson is simple. In order to avoid bite marks, simply arm yourself with a good camera that includes a zoom lens, or even one of those giant bazookas you see birdwatchers carrying around with telephoto lenses like heavy artillery. Yes, those are hard on the back, but better for your health should you come across a grizzly face to face in the woods, snacking on berries when they could be snacking on you instead. You have been warned.
Note: Photo of the ocelot is courtesy a friend, because my own camera was shaking at the time. Same with great white shark (courtesy Incredible Adventures) because I was shaking in a cage with cold as it swam by, or was it fear?